Love and why you should love yourself first.

 

 

love yourself first

 

Valentine’s Day is upon us and thoughts turn to love and especially the love of and for our partner.  However, I want to talk about a more important kind of love – Self-Love.  Appreciating who we are and loving the person we are.

Just over a year ago I wrote a post ‘How Learning to Love Yourself Will Make you A Better Person.’  I discussed how most women find it difficult to love themselves and also outlined 6 ways we could start learning to love ourselves.  I would love you to read this so just click here.

i was also reminded again of why we should love ourselves with a quote I read recently in a novel by Cathy Kelly, ‘Once in a Lifetime’.

 

love yourself

Why you should love yourself first

We spend most of our life being told to love others and put ourselves a very long last in the order of life.  However, loving ourselves makes us more confident and happier.

I know it feels strange to talk about loving ourselves.  Sometimes we feel it is a form of vanity and we certainly don’t enjoy giving ourselves compliments or appreciating both our physical and spiritual beauty.  That means also learning to accept compliments from others graciously.

love yourself

Being a Body Image Movement Global Ambassador I constantly see women who degrade their physical appearance and lack any form of self-worth.

love yourself

 

On this Valentine’s Day why not think about how you can show yourself some love, kindness and appreciation for the fabulous woman you are.

love yourself

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50 thoughts on “Love and why you should love yourself first.

  1. Deborah

    Ah yes…. I’ve always been single and tend to wallow a bit because of it. “Poor me,” kind of thing. But, I also blame myself – being too fat to attract anyone etc. But I see other larger people in couples and wonder if it’s cos they aren’t as fussy or if the reason is perhaps that it’d be pretty much impossible for anyone to see me as worthy or loveable if I don’t?!

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Oh Deb you are so hard on yourself. You are beautiful. It isn’t about looks, my PT is gorgeous and yet has been unlucky in love. I think if we are happy with our own company and love the person we are, that shines through and then when you aren’t looking sometimes a new Love appears. Just remember you are beautiful and have a lovely day xx

      Reply
  2. Jo Tracey

    I’ve never considered myself as pretty or sexy, but at the same time, I’ve never equated that with unloveable. I think perhaps because each of my important relationships have been with me who I’ve loved as friends and have grown to be in love with. Great message.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Hi Jo! What a lovely way to fall in love. Friendships first which then develop into love is to me a wonderful way to develop relationships. The ‘love at first sight’ can be exciting in the moment but sadly, usually doesn’t go the distance. Have a beautiful day Jo. xx

      Reply
  3. Jan Wild

    One of the reasons I love the #everydaystyle community that Nikki Parkinson has created is that the focus in on each of us loving ourselves the way we are and dressing to make the most of the assets we each have. Of course there is more to self love than the physical, but it is a great place to start.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      I must check it out Jan as I always see you looking lovely on Instagram. I think self love of our physical appearance is a very important part. If we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see it is even harder to love or like ourselves.

      Reply
  4. Denyse Whelan Blogs

    You write a most empowering post Sue and I think your message is spot on! By the way, recent research by me has unearthed more about why it is so hard to self-love/be compassionate and it is tied up with our need to self-preserve. The reason it is built within us to connect is so we survive as we need to be in packs. This is way long ago stuff that has stayed in our genetic makeup. Thanks for linking up for #lifethisweek 7/52. Next Week: A Pet Story.

    Reply
  5. Leanne | crestingthehill

    It has taken me a long time to be able to think kindly of myself and to see the value that is intrinsically mine. It’s not about physical beauty, but rather becoming a beautiful soul. Inner beauty is so attractive and it’s a big factor in helping us hang in there during tough times in our relationships too.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Me too Leanne. I know that I’m no model but when I’m happy and feeling good inside it does show on the outside. Being a beautiful soul always shines through.

      Reply
  6. AJ Sefton

    I think the confusing thing is what is meant by ‘love’ and what it means when applied to oneself. I take it that to value myself, care for and respect me, is what it means.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      I know Carol. There are still so many women who don’t value themselves and some would even scoff at the idea of self love. Unfortunately, they are products of their time. Fortunately for some of us we have embraced the idea and feel happier for it.

      Reply
  7. Jennifer

    Great reminder. Sad that when I was younger, I didn’t love myself as much. So much wasted time. It took getting older for me to realize that I can and do love myself just as I am.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      That is the same for most of us Jennifer but at least we have realised before it is too late. It can be so soul destroying having a negative attitude to ourselves.

      Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Thanks Molly. I think we get so caught up loving and pleasing others that we forget ourselves. Hope you enjoyed your ‘love’ holiday – or were you shovelling snow LOL:)

      Reply
  8. Silly Mummy

    I find it hard to do, but I know this is such good advice. If you value yourself, then anyone else knows that you won’t give them the time of day unless they also value you as much. If you don’t value yourself, you will probably accept someone else not valuing you too, because you won’t see why they should.

    Reply
  9. Roxanne Jones

    A wonderful post, Sue. It reminds me of the line from a poem (I don’t know the author) that goes something like “plant your own garden, decorate your own soul.” As so many others have commented, you really do have to value yourself first and foremost. It teaches others how to treat you.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Thanks Roxanne! What a beautiful quote I love it and thanks for sharing with me. I will need to find the poem. Have a beautiful day and thanks for stopping by. x

      Reply
  10. Jacq

    This is so true. Thank you for reminding me of what I should be doing every single day. xx

    Jacq
    jacqwritesworld.com
    #lifethisweek

    Reply
  11. Carol ("Mimi")

    Thanks for your words of wisdom. I think that as girls and young women, we get messages from parents/friends/peers/society-in-general that we must constantly strive and try harder to be better in so many ways. These messages might actually be useful in some ways if they spur us to stretch and reach our goals in various endeavors. But, I know that, for me, as an older person retired from my career and with children grown into adulthood, I am much happier accepting and loving myself for who I am.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      So true Carol. I think our generation really were brain washed from all sides especially in the media. We had to be perfect in the way we looked and powerful in what we achieved. So many of us wasted many years trying too hard and feeling unhappy. It took me a while to realise who I am and what I want but now at nearly 60 life is good. Have a beautiful day. xx

      Reply
  12. Grammy Dee

    So true, I always say – Take care of yourself first because you’re the only you that you have 🙂 Thank you Sue for sharing this post at the Wednesday AIM Link Party. I shared it on my social media sites.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      It is a bit like being on the plane and being told to use our oxygen masks first then the children. We aren’t any good to others if we don’t look after ourselves. Have a lovely day Grammy Dee! xx

      Reply
  13. Kathleen - Bloggers Lifestyle

    Lovely message and great quotes Sue. I particularly like the last one. I think most of my life I confused self-respect with a wrong interpretation of being humble. Being humble is a beautiful thing combined with love and respect. It does not mean being hard on yourself or downgrading yourself.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Yes Kathleen I was the same. I felt that it was vain to love yourself but now I understand that loving yourself is about being respectful and accepting of the person you are. Glad you enjoyed the post, my friend. Have a beautiful day xx

      Reply
  14. shelley

    This is so on target. It’s almost as if women are programmed from birth to love everyone else EXCEPT ourselves. I think it goes back to that attitude that good girls put everyone else first – and we do. But there comes a point where we realize that we’ve got to take care of ourselves too. Love this – pinning to my personal Pinterest board in addition to the Over the Moon board.

    Reply
    1. Sue Loncaric Post author

      Yes, that is why I wrote it Shelley because I’m constantly surprised at the number of women who feel it wrong to love and be kind to themselves. All we can do is try to spread the message. Have a great week and thanks for being a co-host at #OvertheMoon x

      Reply
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