#JournalingInJuly Over 50s Lifestyle

5 things I don’t want in my life

July 25, 2019
5 things I don't want in my life

#JournalinginJuly has certainly made me think as I read the daily prompts.  When I was writing the prompts for the month, I knew that some needed to be more probing and serious because life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns.  I asked my close blogging friend and also my partner in #JournalinginJuly. Debbie Harris to select a prompt and write a post for me.

Deb is such a ray of sunshine in my life and I just love reading her blog Deb’s World.  However, what I love about Deb is her ability to reflect and accept the not-so-good things that happen in her life, yet still remain positive.  Deb has chosen to write from the prompt ‘What I don’t want in my life’ and shares 5 things with us today.  Be sure to connect with Deb through her links at the end of her post as you won’t be disappointed.

Thanks for having me as a guest Sue! It’s always great to be with you and your lovely readers 

What I don’t want in my life – prompt for Day #24

Five things I don’t want in my life

1. Negativity/meanness

My mother always told me if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. I wish more people had this mantra in their lives because there are so many unnecessary and mean things written these days. In comments on Facebook, in response to news stories and in general conversation. I understand everyone has a right to their opinion but why waste all that effort by being mean and nasty??

2. Toxic people

I’m lucky that these days I have a distinct lack of toxic people in my life. When I was working, they were everywhere. You know the type of people who love to bring others down, make derogatory comments, spread gossip and rumours, demean others for no real reason, have an arrogant and overbearing nature – anytime I get these uncomfortable feelings when talking to people these days, I immediately back away! Not good for anyone’s mental health.

3. Being overwhelmed

Feelings of being overwhelmed can be debilitating, although pressure is sometimes good. It’s when the pressure builds up and takes over that it gets hard and I know it’s time for a break. I’m learning to listen to my body.

4. Fake/plastic people

When I worked in the gaol system there was a term called ‘Plastic gangsters’ which referred to inmates who thought they were ‘real’ criminals but in fact were just pretenders. Well this relates to many people out there these days. We’re all special and have our own uniqueness, so why pretend to be something you’re not? I just don’t get it sometimes.

5. A world without smiles and laughter

The world needs laughter and we all need to laugh more. It’s good for our mental health, it’s good for our bodies and it’s a happy sound. I challenge you to not smile in response to seeing babies laughing or smiling, they are irresistible. In my opinion we all need to lighten up and learn to laugh at ourselves and with others. The chemical reactions in the brain have a positive effect on us and can help us out no end. I love hearing of doctors using humour to help patients in hospitals, of the importance of connecting with our inner child and seeing the fun in things. I’m not saying there aren’t times when we need to be serious, but we can all use more laughter in our lives. Life is hard enough!
Smile and the world smiles with you.

Meet Debbie

5 things I don't want in my life

Debbie is an award winning Australian midlife, travel, adventure and lifestyle blogger who has a smile named after her – the ‘Debbie Smile’.

A young retiree, after being made redundant from her 22 year career of managing educational programs for inmates in a men’s correctional centre, she thought she’d have loads more time for reading, cycling, blogging and travelling, but she’s discovering that life is busier than ever! Whether it’s book club, movie club, volunteering with Rotary and Rotary Youth Exchange programs or simply catching up with friends, life is never dull when Debbie is around!

Connect with Debbie

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41 Comments

  • Reply Christie Hawkes July 25, 2019 at 07:44

    Hello Deb and Sue! I’ve enjoyed reading both of your journal entries throughout the month. Thanks for your willingness to share. I agree with all five of these things–I don’t want them in my life either. Reading about them is a good reminder to actively eliminate those things from my life. As an added bonus, eliminating the things you don’t want makes more room for the things you do want, like all the smiles and laughter!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 25, 2019 at 08:40

      Hi Christie, I love Deb and wished she lived closer. You are right about the added bonus when we eliminate what we don’t want from our lives, we just need the courage to make the changes. xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 09:40

      Thanks Christie, it’s amazing how we can remove things and make room for other much better things in our lives 🙂

  • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 08:05

    Who is this amazing, insightful and inspiring blogger?? Oh it’s me???? ??

    Thanks so much for asking me to be your guest. I’m thoroughly enjoying the thoughtful prompts and sharing my sometimes quite personal responses.
    It’s great to think about what we don’t want in our lives as then we have more room for what we do want more of!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 25, 2019 at 08:40

      Deb I almost snorted reading this LOL:) You are amazing, insightful and inspiring and I’m proud to call you my friend. Always happy to have you as my guest. xx

      • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 09:39

        My day has been made! I made you snort laugh 🙂

  • Reply Deborah July 25, 2019 at 08:13

    Yes, to all of these Deb / Sue. Although I’m probably the most negative person in my life and my meanness is self-centred, I’m getting far better at protecting myself from others in that regard (toxic or fake people). I do however want less overwhelm and more smiles and laughter and that’s something I need to work on.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 25, 2019 at 08:41

      Yes Deb, you do need to work on more smiles and laughter – we all do at times and it makes life seem so much easier to cope with when we feel happy. Take care of yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself either. xx

      • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 16:56

        Thanks Deb and Sue for your follow up comments. We are all too mean to ourselves sometimes so I’m glad you recognise that trait. We can all do with less overwhelm and more smiling and laughter! Take care 🙂

    • Reply Denyse Whelan July 25, 2019 at 20:28

      Please look after yourself as you would a friend. That is what I have learned to do…and I still make many mistakes but I literally challenged myself via the self-compassion exercises and learning more from Kristin Neff. If you are ready, ask me more or look up self-compassion.com

      sending love. D

  • Reply Natalie July 25, 2019 at 08:16

    Hi Debbie and Sue – This post made me smile! Isn’t it great that we can choose what we want to keep and remove what we don’t want from our life at this stage of life? Have a positive and fun-filled week! #lovin’lifelinky

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 25, 2019 at 08:42

      Hi Natalie, it is something I wish I had done earlier in my life but there is always time to change. xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 16:50

      Thanks Natalie, I’m so glad you got a smile from this post!

  • Reply Min @ Write of the Middle July 25, 2019 at 08:33

    What a great list and I agree with every one of them! Thanks Deb and Sue. I must admit that since I left the corporate life I do not miss all the draining personality types and egos that I would come across and have to work with on a daily basis. In saying that I did meet some wonderful people at work too. I also find it a terrible reflection on humankind that there are so many nasty comments on articles on FB and Twitter and social media as a whole. I don’t read them anymore – such toxicity and so unnecessary. Isn’t it fab that we can choose what we want in our life and what we don’t. Phew! 🙂 #TeamLovinLife

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 16:47

      Thanks Min, I also miss some of the exciting, interesting passionate people I met at work but not those that were hard work to deal with. I really get upset at the mean and nasty comments on articles and facebook. It’s so unnecessary! I am so happy being where I am in . my life now and it’s like a weight has lifted sometimes 🙂

  • Reply Joanne Tracey July 25, 2019 at 08:57

    I was struggling with this prompt but this is the perfect list. No mean people and no mean TV. Tick. In fact, tick to all of it.

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 16:44

      That’s good to hear Jo, I had trouble too at first with this prompt but decided to pick 5 things – I always enjoy your 5 things too 🙂

  • Reply Vanessa July 25, 2019 at 15:43

    It’s such a relief when you manage to get away from the toxic people.

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 25, 2019 at 16:41

      I agree wholeheartedly Vanessa! We don’t need them in our lives do we?

  • Reply Sydney Shop Girl July 25, 2019 at 18:55

    Deb thanks for these positive, powerful words!

    SSG xxx

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:13

      My pleasure SCG, it was an interesting exercise thinking of what would be on the list.

  • Reply Miriam July 25, 2019 at 19:04

    Great post Deb and Sue. And I have to agree with all five of these things Deb. A world without smiles and laughter would be pretty gloomy indeed. And as for those toxic people, I’m happy to say that since leaving work, they’re few and far between. Keep smiling, Xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:14

      Hi Miriam, it’s always great to have your input. Aren’t we lucky not to have the toxic people in our lives anymore? Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Reply Denyse Whelan July 25, 2019 at 20:30

    Glad I read this. I have been listening to Brene Brown’s latest Dare to Lead and am caught up with her talk on values. I am yet to go through the 100 on the list and choose only two…but it’s part of the process. I identified so strongly with something she says about how she knows when she is not living life according to her values…she becomes resentful. I notice this myself and have had reason to recently. I love the ‘warning systems’ we each have but sometimes we take a long time to notice them. Denyse x

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:16

      That’s great to hear Denyse, sounds like a great exercise you’re going through. I understand the feeling resentful too and am interested to hear it’s a warning system. Thanks for sharing and joining in.

  • Reply cynthia@secondmojo July 25, 2019 at 21:27

    Hi Debbie and Sue,
    Thanks for this.
    A great reminder that I have actually succeeded in removing most of this from my life. Eureka!
    After years in corporate America, and of caring a lot more about the wrong things in my personal life I think I’ve grown up!!
    Cheers to ’60’s
    Cynthia

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:17

      That’s great to hear Cynthia, you are doing well! We all have to stop and reevaluate sometimes. Thanks for your comment and support.

  • Reply Katie Nurton July 25, 2019 at 22:03

    Yes, yes and yes again! I’m absolutely with you. My mother used to say exactly the same about if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all. She also used to say smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone … I never used to think about that much, but actually it’s pretty true and I think it also reflects what you say about not being around toxic people. I like to be around happy people and laugh. It makes me happy, it’s contagious! All too often I get low and blue so it’s really important for me to “use” other people’s happiness to bring out my inner sunshine! Lovely post! Thanks. Katie x

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:19

      Thanks so much Katie, so good to have your comment and your memories too. I think we can all remember certain phrases and now look back on them and just smile! I’m making an effort to be around happy people and laughing is so beneficial. Really glad to hear you enjoyed it!

  • Reply Erica/Erika July 25, 2019 at 23:22

    Hi Deb and Sue, Your post really caught my eye, since I agree with Sue. Deb also strikes me as a ray of sunshine. How would she answer this question? I agree with every one of Deb’s five points. I especially like number five. Something that makes me smile and a belly laugh can totally turn my day around. I enjoy reading everyone’s interpretation of the journaling prompts this month:)

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:21

      Hi Erica, I love the community we have amongst our blogging friends and really appreciate your comments. The journaling challenge has been great fun and made me think hard at times. It’s great to have you join in!

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au July 26, 2019 at 00:09

    Hi Deb – lovely to see you over here on Sue’s blog and I can certainly agree with you on a LOT of these! My mum used to say the same thing about having something nice to say. And don’t even get me started on toxic workmates – I think I could write a book on them! Lucky we have all that laughter to help us through it all xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:12

      I know what you mean Leanne, about toxic people – I think we’ve probably got loads of experience with this type of personality. Thanks for your comment and we could probably write a book on what our mothers said to us as we were growing up! Always love being on Sue’s blog 🙂 xx

  • Reply Donna Connolly July 26, 2019 at 12:35

    Hi, Debbie and Sue – That is such a powerful list. Those five things top my Negativity Chart as well! Awesome reflection!

    • Reply Debbie Harris July 26, 2019 at 18:10

      Thanks for the feedback Donna, we all seem to be on a similar track with what we don’t want in our lives. It was great joining Sue for this prompt and the challenge has been really fun!

  • Reply Sharon Pittaway July 27, 2019 at 12:00

    Deb from Deb’s World is my big sister and I’m constantly amazed that we’re siblings. Deb is the smiling, positive side of my much darker and more brooding coin. As she’s been in my life for my whole life , I’ve never felt the need to develop that side of my personality because Debbie has it in spades.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say how much pleasure I get from reading people’s comments about Deb’s writing … and if I’m really honest, to be a little smug that she’s my sister 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 29, 2019 at 08:08

      Hi Sharon, you should be smug as Deb is such a delightful person. I’m proud to call her my friend and she definitely brightens my day. xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris August 2, 2019 at 10:45

      I’ve just found this comment and you have certainly made me smile today. Thank you so much Sharon 🙂 I always assume I’m the annoying, chatty, pain in the neck big sister but I feel much better about all that now. I often feel shallow and incompetent compared to your thought provoking writing but we all have different things to offer. We complement each other and work well together, both having different perspective on life to offer to our various readers. I particularly like that you feel smug if I’m honest!!!

  • Reply Nancy Dobbins July 28, 2019 at 22:41

    Hi Debbie and Sue,
    This is one of the prompts that resonated with me this month, too, and mentioned it in my recent post. Drama and negativity have no place in my space…I either now ignore or walk away. Or try to put that positive spin on it for people. But sadly some folks can’t get beyond the negative. That’s when they cross over into toxic.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 29, 2019 at 08:18

      Hi Nancy, it was so lovely that you joined in to write about one of the prompts. I agree that Drama and Negativity just doesn’t fit in my life and although it is difficult to walk away, sometimes we just have to. Enjoy your week and hope to see you at #MLSTL.xx

    • Reply Debbie Harris August 2, 2019 at 10:45

      It’s so good you wrote about this one Nancy, it seems a lot of us share these thoughts. Thanks so much!

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