Ageing Well, Living Well Over 50s Lifestyle

Finding Focus when life lacks direction

February 28, 2020
Finding Focus when life lacks direction

I’m feeling a lack of direction at the moment. There was a time when I would not have mentioned how I was feeling, but I’m changing. For the last 5 years of blogging my aim has been to encourage and inspire others so how could I let my guard down and admit that I too have times when I struggle? I’ve since learned that my experiences – positive or negative – should be shared to inform and hopefully help others who are in a similar situation at any given time. I’ve learned there is no failure in expressing how we feel – good or not so good.

I posed the following question to the ST60 & Beyond Facebook Group this week.

I’m feeling a lack of direction at the moment. Do you ever feel this way? What is your tip to overcoming these moments?

The responses came flowing in and in fact, it was one post which seem to attract more commentary and participation than usual. I must have hit a nerve as it seems that I’m not alone in feeling a little adrift in life. The positive aspect was that many of the comments also provided some tips on how to overcome these times when life just seems off balance.

Cheryl, one of our FB members travels quite often and finds re-establishing a routine and adjusting to normal life in between can be difficult.

As a Health & Lifestyle Coach, I actually know what to do. but I’m much better at helping others to problem solve and take action, than I am at taking my own advice. As a Health and Lifestyle Coach, I’ve guided my clients to successfully achieve their goals and find purpose in their lives. But like you, I’m human and although I may have the answers it isn’t easy implementing them sometimes. I do find it comforting to hear the thoughts of others who are experiencing the same feelings. It confirms that I’m not alone and that asking the opinion of others and how they cope with situations is a great learning experience.

I’ve collated the responses and words of wisdom from my tribe and also included some of my own ideas for finding focus again.

Finding Focus when life lacks direction

1. ‘Spring Clean your Life’

Kathy from 50 Shades of Age, commented that she is feeling exactly the same way. Her tip was to Spring Clean your life, pick yourself up and get back on track. Currently, Kathy is looking a decluttering and simplifying her life and shares ways to achieve this in her post Time to Declutter and Simplify My Life.

2. ‘Get Back to Basics’

Linda commented that she also lacks direction at times and her go to tip is to get back to basics. She suggests to think about your whys, your how’s and your when’s.

3. Accept the feeling and try to go inward

Toni my friend and author advises accepting that feeling and try to go inwards. She suggests encouraging and supporting yourself, without the need to prove anything to anyone.

“My opinion of myself is the only one that really matters. I would never criticise myself for not feeling as if I have a direction”.

4. Keep moving forward

Lesley, suggested that what works for her is reminding herself that direction doesn’t matter as long as we keep moving forward.

If I keep moving forward there is bound to be a signpost!

5. Shutdown and Reboot

Marilyn suggested the ‘old computer trick’. When lacking direction she ‘shuts down, has a think and reboots’. Her advice is to switch off regularly to clear our minds of unwanted junk.

6. Focus on what is good in life

Jen tries to focus on what is good in her life rather than what she is missing. Her process is to refocus, organise her priorities in life and remember how far she has come. Her other advice is to

do things for you first then if there is time and room then spread yourself to others

7. Journaling, meditation and making a list

Jane, finds that although she has much to offer, she is having difficulty finding out how to do this. Taking time out to journal, meditate and list what she would like to do has helped. Try something, if something doesn’t work, cross it off the list. Slowly the way forward become clearer.

8. Find comfort in Quiet and Non-Productive days

Denyse from Denyse Whelan Blogs, finds that she loses direction when ‘not much is happening’. Taking time for Quiet and Non-Productive days actually brings some refreshment to her life and mind.

9. Take action

For me, taking action helps. Moving in the form of exercise, going for a walk or even getting stuck into the housework is productive and brings clarity to my mind. Sure, my direction might still be unsure but the ‘high’ from exercise or the satisfaction of a clean and tidy environment certainly helps my focus.

10. Talk it through

Talking things through with a friend, coach or mentor can certainly help mental stress and anxiety and also as a way to define what our thoughts are. As I mentioned above, my clients have appreciated the listening ear and the opportunity to discuss their thoughts in a confidential environment. I have several projects that I want to work on and am procrastinating because my thoughts are jumbled. Whilst running with a friend, we started chatting about my ideas and by the end of the run a plan was formulating for me to work on.

11. Defining your Core Values

Reflecting and defining your core values brings you to a place where you know what is important in your life and what to let go of. I revisit my Core Values Process to bring clarity.

What do you do to find focus when life is lacking direction?

Check out my Resources Library page for some goal setting and other tools which may help. If you are lacking direction or purpose and would like to work through the process with me, send me an email to sue@sizzlingtowardssixty.com.au I would love to help you.

Finding Focus when life lacks direction

Ageing Well, Living Well with Sue

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13 Comments

  • Reply Micihele Somerville February 28, 2020 at 04:25

    Thank you for this post. I think this is a common problem or need but I don’t always know many people who acknowledge it. I am a pastor and it is the beginning of Lent. But when I talk to some folks about re-evaluating, looking at your life, faith practices, other practices, etc. sometimes I get blank stares. Even apart from anything spiritual there are times of the year, when I rethink my hairstyle (or lack thereof) my wardrobe and other things. Thanks again for this timely post.

    • Reply Christie Hawkes March 1, 2020 at 05:13

      Me too Micihele. The change of seasons seem to inspire me to rethink various aspects of my life. I believe it’s a healthy exercise, even if the result of the thinking is I am happy with where I am and don’t want to change anything at this point.

      • Reply Michele Somerville March 1, 2020 at 09:39

        Yes, sometimes you don’t want to change anything, but the good thing is you do it, you think through where you are and explore the possibilities.

  • Reply Donna February 28, 2020 at 06:11

    Hi, Sue – There is great collective wisdom here. Thank you for sharing it., and reminding us that we are ALL human. Wishing you a great week ahead!

  • Reply Joanne Tracey February 28, 2020 at 07:21

    All of these are fabulous tips. Tbh I feel as though I’m existing and ticking boxes at present and very little else. I need to stop or pause at some point and do the same.

  • Reply Toni Pike February 28, 2020 at 10:46

    What a great article, Sue – and what a marvellous list of ideas. Thank you so much for including me. I especially love the comments about taking the time to meditate, thinking about our core values and having some quiet time – we don’t have to fill our days with “busyness.” That is where the magic is found. Toni x

  • Reply Debbie-Dabble February 28, 2020 at 22:42

    Interesting article, Sue! I have waited to retire for 40 years because I was stuck in a profession that i did not chose and did not want but because of the money I made , I chose to stay in it to support my family as I was the major bread winner. It is a year now that I am not working and I actually have no direction in my life and I am loving it… I get to do every day what I want to do which is write, read, decorate my house and craft !!! I am spending more time with family and friends…. I have no particular “Direction” that I want my life to take because I did not put such importance on my job as an RN defining who I was. It was just one aspect of who I was and my life and I feel that now, I get to be who I should have been…
    Hugs,
    Deb

    • Reply Diana Herring March 1, 2020 at 04:10

      Right there with you Debbie! As a RN it was a calling but the last 7 years took a major toll on me, family & resulted in medical forced retirement, 3 major surgeries with Titanium rods, discs, screws & plates in foot back shoulder in a 3 month period of time 13 months ago. Divorced 12 yrs ago & these surgeries took all my savings, pride, self worth away from me. Now living with family as SS does not cover expenses. Can’t afford insurance & Medicare is a year away. But my career took care of my family. Best wishes in retirement!!!

  • Reply Debbie Harris February 29, 2020 at 12:51

    What a great post with fabulous ideas from everyone Sue! You are an amazing human being and being honest has shown you that many of us feel a similar way from time to time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and how you managed to learn from your experiences. Keep smiling 🙂

  • Reply Terri Lyon February 29, 2020 at 23:42

    My favorite tip is defining your core values. It sharpens your focus. I would also add a tip: create your bucket list. Thanks for a great post.

  • Reply Christie Hawkes March 1, 2020 at 05:08

    Thank you, Sue, for being willing to be vulnerable and share your true feelings with us. It may seem strange that you can help others easier than you can help yourself, but I have heard several successful coaches say that they also use the services of a life coach. They recognize the importance of the role they play in others’ success and that they can also benefit from a good coach. Thank you also for sharing the tips you gathered from the community. There are several that I find particularly helpful. When I’m feeling scattered, I like a good physical work out, time in nature, and quiet time meditating or writing. It also helps me feel better if I do one productive or enjoyable thing–take action as you said–without worrying too much about the big picture for the time being. Thanks again for all you do for us! May you be happy; may you feel at ease. XO

  • Reply Erica/Erika March 1, 2020 at 11:08

    As I am reading your post, Sue, the first thing that comes to mind is how you are among friends, in a safe place, to share all of your feelings. This is how I see our blogging community. This is what we do. We support each other.

    You also remind me how perspective is always different when you are watching from the outside, or when you are living in it. I also find ‘I can dish it out, yet sometimes I do not see the forest for the trees.’ Or is it the other way round.🙂

    I think I have mentioned to you, before, ‘be as kind to yourself as you are to others.’

    Great gems in your post. Thank you for being, you, Sue!💕

    (An aside, I am catching up reading today since I had the privilege of being at the birth of my Grandson last week. You know first hand, Sue, how children are a miracle and a blessing)

  • Reply suzanne vosbikian March 1, 2020 at 11:36

    Sue, I think you are so far ahead of the game just by acknowledging that you feel a bit off course. Linda’s #2 makes a lot of sense to me, as does a good look in the mirror and a sweaty workout. You are so right, it is much easier to offer advice than to apply it! You will get to the bottom of it.

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