Over 50s Lifestyle

It’s all about Respect & Tolerance

September 25, 2017
Tolerance

Tolerance

I’ve been feeling very disenchanted with life lately.  The world is not a happy place and the lack of tolerance within society is disappointing.  I’ve had three examples lately where I was shocked at the lack of tolerance shown to others and their opinions.  Sure, we need to have an opinion but we also need to understand that others may not share the same views and accept that.

Writing this post is a reminder to me as well that even though I might have opinions they may or may not be agreed with by others.  I know my husband and I disagree on certain issues but that doesn’t mean we don’t respect or love each other.  It is a matter of accepting that we are individuals and each have a right to an opinion.

Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself.

Robert Green Ingersoll

Recently Shelley Merchant from A Woman in her Prime was a guest writer for me.  In her post 9 Dreams for the Future her first three were:

  • We’re kinder to each other. Where civility, manners, and polite conduct are the norm.
  • We’re accepting of the differences between us. Where differences aren’t viewed as strange or wrong.
  • We’re able to disagree without resorting to name-calling, insults, and violence, and where we can work through disagreements to reach compromise solutions beneficial for all.

To me, opinions can be tricky as you will always get those of each extreme (right or left) who just won’t listen to the other side.  There is no room for debate, only aggressive reactions.  Which brings me to my three instances lately where I was shocked at the lack of intolerance.

Marriage equality

Currently, Australia is undertaking a ‘survey’ on marriage equality.  The question is:

‘Do you support a change in the law to allow same-sex couples to marry?’ – There is only a box to tick ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

Now I’m not giving my opinion here as I don’t engage in political debate publicly.  However, this simple question has divided the country.  Both extreme sides of the debate are aggressive in their approach and of course will never agree.  Respect and tolerance should be shown to each other but alas I can’t see that happening.

Jane Fonda

You might wonder what Jane Fonda has to do with tolerance and respect?  Recently there was a photo of her at the Emmy Awards on the Red Carpet.  Now at 79, Jane openly admits to having had ‘work done’ but she has also taken care of her body and health through exercise and a good diet.

The outpouring of scorn and negativity by women shocked me.  There was no tolerance shown, only accusations of trying to make women feel inadequate.

Why can’t we just have the opinion that okay if that makes her feel good so be it.  Just because others don’t want or need to put a value on their appearance doesn’t mean we have to judge others that do.

We are all individuals and should be able to live our life as we wish as long as it isn’t hurting others.  I was shocked that women can be so vindictive and perhaps jealous.

The US Elections

I can’t remember a time when elections caused so much division within a country.  The US elections last year, watched from afar in Australia, appeared to be so divisive within the American community.  The vitriole on social media and in the press was difficult enough to watch and I wasn’t even in America.

Maybe I’m just living in dreamland and perhaps society has always been this way we just didn’t have as much media highlighting it.

Think about what we are teaching our children or the kind of role model we are for them?

Is it too much to ask for people to show Respect and Tolerance?  I’d love to hear your views.

Tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is human.

John Cogley Commonweal

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27 Comments

  • Reply Vanessa September 25, 2017 at 11:51

    I’m very tired of politics right now. I unfollow news sites. I mute people who talk a lot of politics. And I still feel like I see it everywhere and it’s so draining. I want my social media to be more people, not more politics. It’s frustrating when you try to control your feeds to make it what you need (to feed you, I guess, haha) and it doesn’t really seem to work.

    Recently, I can’t remember on what issue, I saw people saying that opting out is a sign of privilege. Yes, I agree with that statement. But it ignores the reality of life, which is we can’t dedicate ourselves to every single issue that comes up. It’s literally not possible. Some of us find this stuff uplifting, to fight for rights and changes. Some of us find it exhausting and draining.

    It’s like people who get angry and at charity supplying menstrual products to women who need them because they don’t do the same for men…it’s like…what? Just respect that they are helping people who need it. No one person can help everyone. Like you said – that one is about respect in a big way.

    That the extremes are all that get voiced this days seems to be a failing of media – can only show the extremes for clicks/views. So unrealistic when I bet most of us fall into a middle ground!

    Uh, I guess I feel very frustrated over much of this too! 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 25, 2017 at 16:08

      Oh I hear you Vanessa and feel the frustration as you do. I’m glad to find others who feel the same as me. I thought perhaps I wasn’t being political enough and people would say I was naive but surely the way things are at the moment isn’t ideal. Thank you for responding with your thoughts and I hope you have a beautiful day. xx

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au September 25, 2017 at 14:57

    This is similar to what I was saying in my post on what has happened to Facebook Sue. I cannot believe the amount of badgering and soapboxing that has been going on over same sex marriage. I believe we are all entitled to our opinions and beating up your friends over it is just not on. I’ve unfollowed several “friends” over this in recent weeks and have been really disappointed in seeing them get on their bandwagons (especially seeing none of them are actually directly impacted by the decision). I’m not sure where our world is going but I’m with you on feeling really disenchanted by it all.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 25, 2017 at 16:02

      It was after I read your post Leanne that the Jane Fonda incident occurred and then of course the ongoing Trump saga. I just had to write it down as I feel very disenchanted with the world. Let’s start a movement for tolerance and respect – problem is I don’t think we would get many followers xx

  • Reply Donna September 25, 2017 at 15:08

    This post has deeply resonated with me, Sue. It is hard to read the news, turn on the TV, or even turn the corner in our neighborhoods without seeing examples of intolerance and lack of respect for others. I like the Robert Green Ingersoll quote that you have included with this post. Another of my favourite quotes on this topic is from John Hume.
    ‘Difference is of the essence of humanity. Difference is an accident of birth and it should therefore never be the source of hatred or conflict. The answer to difference is to respect it. Therein lies a most fundamental principle of peace: respect for diversity.’

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 25, 2017 at 16:01

      I just feel at a loss Donna and fear for my grandchildren’s future. I know that people have disagreed since time began but the intolerance to others’ opinions seems to be getting out of control. I’m not a very political person and I don’t like confrontation however, I find it difficult to listen to people who are shouting over each other rather than showing some courtesy and respect. x

  • Reply Sydney Shop Girl September 25, 2017 at 19:17

    So much to think about and discuss in your post, Sue. I agree that we often forget that we are the role models for our children until it’s too late.. ie after we’ve done something inappropriate or handled a situation badly.

    SSG xxx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 26, 2017 at 07:45

      Children pick up so much from us SSG even when we aren’t aware. I’ve learnt that from my grandson. Have a great week filled with happiness and kindness. xx

  • Reply Kathy Marris September 25, 2017 at 19:19

    I agree that people are extremely self-centred and self-absorbed these days and have little respect for others opinions. I steer away from expressing opinions publicly on social media because it attracts a lot of scorn and misinterpretation at times. There does need to be a lot more kindness and respect sprinkled around and it does start at home with our children and creating good role models.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 26, 2017 at 07:44

      I’ve been so disillusioned about it all Kathy, especially the way the marriage equality debate has become so aggressive from both sides. I too steer clear of expressing political views because it isn’t worth trying to cope with the backlash if someone doesn’t agree with you. Have a great week and enjoy your holiday – if you are still there!

  • Reply Denyse September 26, 2017 at 12:20

    Until social media took hold, lack of respect and what you write about tended to be via local gossip groups or via the newspaper columns and letters to the editor. What I see now (and read too) is from people who are prepared to view their opinions from the safety of a computer and the 24/7 news channels connecting us from around the world does not help. I despair too and unsubscribe from what affects me too much. Thoughtful post Sue. Thanks for linking up for #lifethisweek 37/52. Next Week: Movies. It’s up to you how you might interpret that one!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 28, 2017 at 08:18

      It really is getting me down Denyse and I’m not the only one going on the comments I’ve received. We just have to look at the positives I suppose and as you say unsubcribe from what affects us too much. xx

  • Reply Jenni | Unclutter Your Universe September 26, 2017 at 17:14

    We’ve just had our nationwide elections in NZ and with a just 18yr old voting for the first time, we have had several conversations about peoples right to have their own views and the need to respect each others opinions. He would often comment to us about the ranting and raving that was happening on social media about the rights or wrongs of different opinions. He was taken aback with the way that people would turn on another person and personally attack them rather than debate the political issues. Sadly, social media has provided a platform for people to attack others from a distance without having to provide their true identity. I personally think that unless your blog or other social media platform started out as a political view point space, it should not be turned into one on a whim.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 28, 2017 at 08:20

      What an introduction to democracy for your son, Jenni. I don’t give my political views because I don’t really like confrontation and the back lash on social media isn’t worth it. Such a shame that we can’t be respectful of how others think and feel. I notice that the NZ results were very close I think everywhere people are just disillusioned with politics in general. Have a beautiful weekend – at least we can end on a positive note. xx

  • Reply Debbie September 26, 2017 at 21:30

    Your post is something I’ve been thinking lately too Sue. Your examples are very indicative of what’s happening in society and it is a worry for the next generation. The debate on the postal survey is getting out of hand by both sides and is turning nasty. I think you need to get on that plane and get away for a good break! Enjoy yourself ?

  • Reply Nikki Gwin September 29, 2017 at 00:53

    I am totally with you Sue. I don’t understand why people are so angry and mean. That is why I have determined to make my Facebook and all social media be about good things. And why I share so much of Sean Dietrich’s, Sean of the South, writings. Its all good!
    🙂 gwingal

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 29, 2017 at 06:10

      I’ve not heard of Sean Dietrich, Nikki so I will check out Sean of the South. We need something uplifting don’t we. Have a great weekend. xx

  • Reply Victoria September 29, 2017 at 05:25

    I agree Sue with what you are saying. It is ok to have an opinion but why do you have to be mean or nasty when you share? The Jane Fonda thing wore me out, I finally stopped reading any of the comments. And with our President, love him or hate him at least show the respect due the office. I also have unfriended some ppl because I just don’t want to read the hatefulness being spread.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 29, 2017 at 06:09

      Hi Victoria, I do think you have to switch off otherwise it can be quite upsetting. In saying that, it means we can’t have an open opinion on sensitive issues for fear of backlash. I like you can feel the hatefulness but fortunately I haven’t had any friends that I’ve had to unfriend at this point. Thanks for stopping by and have a beautiful day. x

  • Reply Kathleen - Bloggers Lifestyle September 29, 2017 at 14:13

    We also do not watch morning television as all the controversy is not presented in a balanced manner. As you say respect starts in the home and should go out to all mankind. Ugly name-calling in a debate is futile to the subject of the debate either social or political.

    I see tolerance as different from respect.
    I can respect someone but not tolerate their actions. I can respect other drivers on the road but I do not tolerate them driving drunk or drug affected. I can show compassion and respect to a drug user but if we all tolerate drug abuse it will affect the lives of our grandchildren.

    I recently saw a sign that asked the question, “What do you value the most, tolerance or truth?”
    To tolerate the wrong things today, will have a negative effect on the future generations.

    To tolerate my child always speaking lies will affect his future well-being. By not teaching and encouraging him to be truthful shows my lack of respect for him.

    But if I wash clothes in cold water and you always use hot water, there is no harm done. Therefore we both respect and tolerate each other’s view. Just like Jane Fonda, how she stays beautiful should have no
    effect on me. If I am jealous that is my problem, not hers 🙁

    To ensure a secure and safe future for our grandchildren, let us take care of what we tolerate today.

    Please don’t unfriend me, I am just trying to make sense of it all like everyone else 🙂

    • Reply Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond September 29, 2017 at 14:29

      Oh Kathleen how could I ever unfriend you! I saw nothing to take offence from in your comment. I hadn’t thought about tolerance in the way you have explained it and you make a very valid point. That is what I love about opinions people look at things differently to others and that is healthy. What isn’t healthy is the way some people say they ‘respect other people’s opinions’ whilst thinking ‘as long as it is the same as my opinion’. Thank you so much for taking the time to make a valid point. Have a lovely weekend my friend. x

  • Reply Random Musings October 1, 2017 at 01:43

    Fab post. It really irritates me when people push their views onto others, especially when it comes to equality around marriage. How bitter do you have to be to object to a couple who have no bearing on your life getting married?!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

  • Reply Janet Camilleri aka Middle Aged Mama October 2, 2017 at 22:17

    Well said Sue … and enjoy your holiday!

  • Reply Claire Saul October 6, 2017 at 06:46

    I don’t think you’re living in dreamland – the world just doesn’t feel a great place to live right now. But if enough of us can remind each other that there are decent humans out here and that we strive for a better place for our kids, this will help to restore our faith in each other…it has to!! Thanks for sharing with Blogger’s Pitstop, Sue! Pinning this x

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