Over 50 & Thriving Series

Reflecting on My Life Over 50 – Old Memories & New Beginnings

July 5, 2018
Reflecting on My Life Over 50 - Old Memories & New Beginnings

Do you take time to reflect on your life?  Do you indulge yourself in memories or feel trapped by them?  Are you ready for new beginnings?  My guest in the Over 50 & Thriving Guest Series, this week, is Candi Randolph from Inspire My Style.  Candi poses these questions to us as she reflects on her own Life Over 50.

I have only known Candi for a short time but enjoy reading her blog, especially her weekly coffee catch ups where she shares new ideas and experiences.  We have so much in common and I enjoy her writings on personal style, living healthy and naturally as well as tips for styling your home.  Even her logo is stylish! Be sure to connect with Candi at the end of the post through her website and social media.

Reflecting on My Life Over 50 – Old Memories &New Beginnings

I am over 50 at this point in my life, no doubt about that. My recent birthday cake had 63 candles on it, figuratively of course! So, I have lived long enough to know where I’ve been, and where I’m going, in life.

When I was in my teens, I remember trying to visualize my older self. At the time I had the age of 30 in my head as the definition of ‘older’. Ha. For some reason, I just couldn’t imagine what I would be like, what I would look like, what I would be doing, at the ripe old age of 30 and beyond. I even wondered if that meant I would not live a long life, because I could not see myself older than in my 20’s.

As the years have gone by and I have matured both physically and emotionally.  I can look back at that young, naive girl and know that she didn’t have the capacity, the life experience, the maturity, to see herself as a grown person. I chuckle when I think about it now.

And, fortunately, I’m still here in the flesh, living every day with a grateful heart. I have persevered through the good times, the tough times, the inspiring moments, the devastating losses, to become who I am today, thriving in my 60’s.

How have I done this?

I strive to hold on to the memories that inspire me to keep moving forward, and let the rest go. That allows me to keep my eyes focused ahead on the new beginnings and experiences I am living now, and looking forward to, in the future.

Old Memories

Memories of times past can work for us, or against us. They can hold us back, or spur us on to action. We are in charge of them, so we decide how they are going to influence us in the present. It may not be a conscious awareness, but we really do have control over them.

My memories of the distant past are somewhat fuzzy and disjointed. I’ve always been like that.

My husband could tell story after story, in great detail, of experiences he had 20, 30 or even 40 years ago. How do people even do that? I always admired his memory capabilities!

Sometimes I’m glad that my memory doesn’t throw all that really old stuff at me. My more recent past, say the last 25 years or so, is always ready and waiting to dredge itself up and slide into the forefront of my mind, if I’ll let it. That’s enough of a challenge for me!

I find balance in holding the treasured memories close to my heart, and remembering the mistakes I’ve made only to keep from repeating them.

Do you know someone who just can’t let go of the past? They may be criticizing themselves, or others, for mistakes made long ago. Or they continually talk about the days gone by, so much so that their ‘today’ slides by without them even realizing that they will never have it back.

It’s almost like they are carrying a heavy suitcase in each hand, dragging it with them wherever they go. They really can’t move ahead because their attention is always focused on those doggone bags in their hands.

Thriving in the present, for me, means letting all that old stuff go. Put those suitcases away, forever.

New Beginnings

My life turned upside down 2 ½ years ago when I lost my husband, my soul mate and the love of my life, after 20 years of marriage.

I was forced to make a decision, and I knew it. I could remain tied to my grief for a long time, maybe forever, or I could pick myself up and look ahead to what life had in store for me.

It has been a process for sure, and it still is. But I vowed to myself that I would move forward, look for those new beginnings and experiences, and continue living life.

Can I honestly say that I am thriving? Yes, I believe that at this point in my life, I can. I feel good about that.

My health is good, I have a wonderful, supportive family, 4 grandchildren to love, the ability to work and run my businesses, enjoy the sunny SW Florida climate and always trust that the Lord has everything in control.

I have 63 years of life experience behind me, many treasured memories to inspire me, and untold new experiences to look forward to!

Meet Candi

Reflecting on My Life Over 50 - Old Memories & New Beginnings

 

Candi Randolph is a midlife blogger and owner of an Interior Decorating/Home Staging business in SW Florida. She loves to share her life experiences as a 60’ish woman, including living a healthy lifestyle, enjoying a natural aging process, loving her family, creating a stylish home and sharing fashion ideas with readers.

Connect with Candi

Website : https://inspiremystyle.com
Facebook
Pinterest
Twitter
Instagram
YouTube

 

If you are Over 50 and would like to contribute to the Over 50 & Thriving Series, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email at sue@sizzlingtowardssixty.com.au and I can provide more details.
Click here to catch up on my previous guests in Over 50 & Thriving Series
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40 Comments

  • Reply Janet Mary Cobb July 6, 2018 at 05:53

    Enjoyable post. Thank you for sharing and encouraging folks to cherish the good memories and to not allow the not-so-good ones to control us.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 6, 2018 at 06:44

      Hi Janet, I think Candi reinforced that it is okay to look back. There is much talk about being in the present (which I agree with) but it is also lovely to look back on your memories and cherish them. We can’t change the past so regret is a waste of time, but allowing ourselves to remember the good times helps us to appreciate our lives. Wishing you a beautiful day, Janet and thanks for stopping by xx

  • Reply Karen Hume July 6, 2018 at 08:30

    Good for you, Candi. You clearly have an optimistic mindset. That’s working for you, along with some wonderful memories and a determination to thrive. Thanks for the post. And thank you, Sue, for sharing Candi’s refreshing perspective on your Over 50 and Thriving series.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 6, 2018 at 17:41

      Hi Karen, I enjoyed reading Candi’s thoughts and getting to know her a little more. She has proven that even a loss of your partner doesn’t mean life is over. It will never be the same, obviously, but she has found a way to embrace her positive memories and also plan for the future. 🙂

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 6, 2018 at 09:59

    Thanks for reading and for your comments, Janet and Mary. I know that keep the past in perspective as well as optimism for the future is what keeps me going, and thriving!

  • Reply Miriam July 6, 2018 at 18:26

    Wonderful to meet you Candi. You have a wonderful perspective on life, an attitude that resonates deeply with me “I strive to hold on to the memories that inspire me to keep moving forward, and let the rest go.” Sue, thanks for introducing Candi to us, such a positive and enjoyable read. xx

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 6, 2018 at 21:08

      Thank you Miriam! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Memories are past chapters in our lives that can make us smile or drag us down. I choose to smile. 🙂

  • Reply Jennifer Jones July 6, 2018 at 19:53

    Lovely to read your positive thoughts about your past even though you have been through tough times. I’m sure life is better with this attitude than living for yesterday and it’s memories. Another great guest Sue.

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 6, 2018 at 21:10

      Thank you Jennifer! Yes, my life is much more positive and enjoyable when I keep looking forward. Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

  • Reply Debbie July 6, 2018 at 20:25

    Hi Sue, another great guest post, I love Candi’s attitude. Looking back is important, for what we’ve learnt along the way. I am impressed with her message so thanks to you both for being fabulous role models.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 9, 2018 at 07:16

      Thanks Deb, and I found your comment in Spam. Not sure why? Candi has a great attitude and one we can all learn from. xx

  • Reply Debbie July 6, 2018 at 20:29

    I thought I’d left a comment here but I can’t see it!! I think Candi’s attitude is spot on and I thank you both for being such positive role models. Great guest again Sue and hi Candi 😊

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 9, 2018 at 07:15

      Hi Deb for some reason it went into Spam! You are definitely not spam 🙂 Candi does have such a positive outlook and I love my Over 50 & Thriving Series all of the women are wonderful aren’t they? 🙂

  • Reply Sue July 7, 2018 at 13:12

    Hi Candi, I’ve read some of your blog posts before, so it’s nice to see you here on Sue’s blog! I can really relate to what you said about making a decision not to be tied to your grief for a long time (maybe forever), as hard as that can feel at the time. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want us to stay stuck either, so another good reason to forgive, or let go, and move forward xx

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 7, 2018 at 20:18

      Yes, grief can change our life and set it in one direction or the other. For me, it had to be forward. Thanks so much for your comments, Sue!

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au July 7, 2018 at 23:59

    My memory is a bit fuzzy when it comes to remembering the early decades of life too Candi – maybe it’s God saving me from myself? There are still plenty of memories to churn over if I want to mire myself in past mistakes, but you’re right about choosing to let them go and to live in the now and to make the most of it. Losing your husband would have been particularly hard, but good on you for choosing to move forward and stay positive, rather than being stuck in the sadness and stalling your life indefinitely.

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 8, 2018 at 00:20

      Well, at least I’m not the only one with fuzzy memories of the past 🙂 Thanks, Leanne, I always appreciate your thoughts!

  • Reply Christie Hawkes July 8, 2018 at 06:05

    Thanks for the thoughts about memories, Candi. For the most part, I don’t dwell in the past, but I do use memories to propel me forward or remind me how far I’ve come and how much I have to be grateful for. I have to admit, my memory isn’t great either, and I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “Remember a couple of years ago…” only to realize that the event actually took place a decade or more ago. As they say, time flies!

    Thanks for another great guest post, Sue!

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 8, 2018 at 07:54

    Thanks Christie, I appreciate your thoughts and comments!

  • Reply Victoria July 9, 2018 at 01:31

    This made me think of a lady I worked with. I met her in 1991 and all she could talk about was her divorce. I thought it had just happened come to find out she had been divorced almost eight years. Even ten years after that she was still talking about her ex. like the divorce had just happened. Letting go is hard sometimes. I don’t dwell on the past but sometimes when my sisters and I are together we do discuss our childhood which wasn’t the best.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 9, 2018 at 07:09

      Yes some people just love to wallow in the negative past don’t they Victoria. Imagine all the good things that woman was missing out on in the present. I love looking back and sharing memories with my cousin. We don’t want to lose our good times just not dwell on what we can’t change. Have a beautiful week. x

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 9, 2018 at 05:24

    Sometimes talking about the past with others who have shared in the experience can be sort of therapeutic. Rehashing the past like it was yesterday is not good for anyone to do. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Victoria!

  • Reply mrsluvit02 July 11, 2018 at 11:59

    Thanks Sue and Candi, this is such a great series. It is always good to see a good attitude in action to encourage ourselves and not let past negatives to spoil today. Make the most of today while it is today. I love that God’s peace promises to guard our hearts and minds.
    We will be featuring this post in the next Blogger’s Pit Stop.
    Kathleen
    Blogger’s Pit Stop

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 12, 2018 at 07:31

      Thank you Kathleen for your support and promoting Candi’s post. I found Candi’s approach to life very inspiring. Have a great week, Kathleen and I look forward to linking up again at Blogger’s Pit Stop 🙂

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 11, 2018 at 20:01

    Thank you Kathleen, for your thoughts and also for featuring my post, it is a great compliment and truly appreciated!

  • Reply Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski July 12, 2018 at 05:35

    I still like to envision myself as being 30 until I see myself in a reflection on a window when I go for a walk. I’m still working on it, though. The past has value but there’s no reason to hold on to it. There is so much to look foward to and accomplish in the present and in the future.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 12, 2018 at 08:02

      I’m the same Rebecca, I just don’t feel almost 61! I think we can look back on memories as long as we don’t get bogged down in the negative. There is so much to live for each day. I also think that we can still look forward and have dreams as along as we aren’t wishing our lives away too soon. Have a great week! 🙂

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 12, 2018 at 07:07

    I know…I feel pretty young on the inside but the reflection tells me a different story! I agree that enjoying today and looking forward is much more exciting and rewarding!

  • Reply Jennifer July 13, 2018 at 02:38

    Nice to meet you Candi. I have what I describe as an event memory. I remember a lot of the things that I actively participated in, especially if they had an emotional impact on me. But I don’t really remember events that I was passively participating in. When I was a child my parents dragged me to numerous picnics with their friends. Boring. I can’t remember any of them, except one. It’s the one in which I was playing Jarts (remember the original, lethal objects?) and one of my throws went wild and I almost hit a man in the crotch. Dozens of picnics over several years and that’s the only one that I remember.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 13, 2018 at 06:24

      I’m like you Jennifer. In fact, I was working through Julia Cameron’s book and for the first five years of my life I couldn’t remember anything! 🙂

  • Reply Candi Randolph July 13, 2018 at 03:14

    Our memories can be peculiar sometimes, can’t they? And yes, I definitely remember Jarts. Good thing your throw missed the mark! Thanks for reading and sharing, Jennifer, I really appreciate it.

  • Reply Nancy Baten July 14, 2018 at 16:19

    Very nice to meet your blog. I enjoyed reading this post. Have a great weekend!

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 14, 2018 at 20:02

      Thanks so much, Nancy, have a wonderful weekend, too!

  • Reply Jodie July 14, 2018 at 23:04

    Such a wonderful piece from Candi!! Thanks for the introduction!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  • Reply Jean| DelightfulRepast.com July 15, 2018 at 23:15

    Candi and Sue, this is exactly what I needed to read today! Very inspiring.

    • Reply Candi Randolph July 15, 2018 at 23:21

      I’m so glad you found this helpful, Jean. Have a wonderful day!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric July 16, 2018 at 12:55

      Oh I’m so pleased, Jean. I feel so fulfilled when a post on my website inspires others and Candi’s was such a great reminder of what to hang on to and what to let go. Have a beautiful week and hope you feel better. xx

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