I write regularly about being authentic, true to yourself and self belief. I’ve helped others build self-confidence so why have I been feeling less self-confident lately?
Do you have times when you are riding high, you feel great and full of confidence only to slump into a feeling where you are second guessing yourself all the time?
I had comments from readers and read articles telling us that as we age our self-confidence can sometimes take a battering. Whether it is because we fear ageing, our bodies and outer appearance are changing or we feel that we have reached our ‘used by’ date, self -confidence can always use a boost.
I’m sharing with you a recent experience of mine where my self-confidence fell to zero and how I turned that around.
I love to learn and believe that continued learning in some form, helps us to age well and live well. It has been a dream of mine to become qualified in the Fitness area with the goal of helping other Women Over 50 age well by keeping fit through functional fitness. So when I found an online course it was with great enthusiasm that I applied to study for a Certificate in Fitness. I could study in my own time and at my own pace – perfect!
How hard could it be? I had once had a successful business at the age of 15 as a Dance teacher with 200 students. I had the support of family and friends telling me I could do it. Plus it was a perfect stepping stone for me in my health and fitness journey. I have the time and the passion for fitness but I wasn’t prepared for the degree of difficulty and the overwhelming feeling that I just couldn’t achieve it.
Do you find sometimes there is a stumbling block and you just cannot get over it?
Lack of self-confidence and procrastination
That is how I’m feeling about Module 3 – my nemesis. It is the most difficult module of the course and has really battered my confidence. As someone who sets the personal achievement bar very high it has been a humbling experience to realise that perhaps I’m not as good as I thought I was. And so the level of self-confidence has dropped to an all time low. Not a place I enjoy being I can tell you.
I started procrastinating and finding hundreds of suddenly ‘urgent’ things to do to prevent me from facing my nemisis. There was the blog and my new Self-Care Sunday with Sue Series, there were social media commitments, I mean, I just had to do that Gratitude Challenge! There were my grandsons to look after, there was my health coaching in a FB group, there were the renovations in our apartment we decided had to be done before Christmas as well as looking after the cat (oh wait, we don’t have a cat) but you get my idea.
I kept putting off study because I found it difficult doing it online and having to research much of the information myself. I had a chat with the P.T. who is helping me .
My P.T. suggested I jump in and just do it. So I did but with not so glowing results. I hadn’t prepared well enough.
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.Arthur Ashe
The ‘kick up the butt’ I needed
After a ‘test’ she provided cosntructive feedback which wasn’t glowing and not what I wanted to hear. Instead of being told I had done well, she pointed out areas that I really needed to focus on and that I had been avoiding. If I’m honest I hadn’t really put the effort in.
After about 30 minutes of telling my husband ‘I can’t do this’, he advised I either do it or give up. Well giving up is not in my nature so I had a long hard chat with myself and admitted that perhaps I wasn’t putting the effort in because I was trying to juggle to many balls in life. A harsh reality check but worthwhile.
My not so impressive report card spurred me on (after my little pity party) and although I’ve had to let my blogging go for a while and prioritise my study I’m actually achieving and doing well in my practical tests. The reality check from the P.T . was the ‘kick up the butt’ I needed.
You’ve got this!
I redid the test this week and although I was nervous I just kept reminding myself that I had put the work in with study , I was prepared and I could do this! And I did!
This has helped my self-confidence no end and I’m feeling enthusiastic and ready to finish this course knowing that I can do it!