Discover Yourself

The Importance of Appreciating your self-worth

August 12, 2018
Self worth

Self-worth – how would you rate yours?

Do you sometimes feel that you aren’t good enough? I know I used to feel that way for many years – sometimes I still do.  I’m not sure who set the bar in society, but as a teenager and well into my life, I always felt I wasn’t quite enough.

I also know that growing up it wasn’t really the ‘done thing’ to be proud of yourself and your achievements. The saying, ‘pride comes before a fall’ was often quoted. So different to today where I think we have gone too far the other way.  Children are congratulated for just showing up rather than teaching them to be proud of the effort they put in.

I certainly, did not appreciate my own self-worth which looking back now, is a regret.

I am currently reading a book, The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand.  One of the characters, Karen, works in a Crayon gift shop.

In the book, Karen’s daughter is marrying into a wealthy family, yet Karen is not ashamed of her life or her work.  She takes pride in ‘bringing colour into children’s lives’, which I thought was a lovely way of putting a positive attitude to whatever we do.

Many of us put others’ happiness first and feel guilty if we strive for our own happiness.  It took me until I was over 50 to start realising that yes, I deserved happiness too.

The Importance of Appreciating your self-worth

Your self-worth is not determined by your successes and failures

I’m currently reading a book ‘The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship’ by Diane England.  One of the chapters discusses Irrational Beliefs which undermine our happiness. Self- talk that can result in strong, negative emotions.

#3 was My Worth is Determined by My Success and Failures as well as by the Traits I exhibit.  England suggests that by believing this statement, we are unable to accept our human frailties.

Do you feel like you need to be accomplishing something ‘big’ to feel worthy?  You keep striving for goal after goal but don’t enjoy the process.  England suggests that:

it’s important that you step away from the idea that unless you’re a successful ‘human doing’, you can’t be a successful human being…. you are worthy of love and respect.

We need to recognise that we have worth because we walk this earth.

We need to ACCEPT who we are right now and EMBRACE the person we are.  It doesn’t mean we will never try to change it just means coming to terms and loving the person you are today.

Stop comparing

We all have our own wonderful qualities and I’ve written before about celebrating our uniqueness.  Comparison though can be a killer to our self-worth.  It is difficult not to compare our lives to others’, especially when we view their life through social media.  It all looks so perfect and wonderful, doesn’t it?  Yet, all may not be as it seems.

There will always be someone more beautiful, brighter, happier, or more successful than you – that is a fact of life. No one is perfect BUT

WE ALL HAVE UNIQUE QUALITIES THAT MAKE US SPECIAL – THAT MAKE US WHO WE ARE.

Why we need to value our own self-worth

Often people will see our worth but we can’t or won’t acknowledge it. If we keep putting ourselves down, criticizing ourselves or not standing up for ourselves, then we can’t blame others for treating us the same way.

We need to be proud of all that we do and not diminish the value. 

3 things I’m proud of

  • I am very proud that I recently, completed my second (and probably last) marathon, two weeks before my 61st birthday.  After 42.2kms I ran across the finish line with pride and relief.  It was tough but I finished and I’m not going to hide the fact that I was ecstatic to receive my finishers medal. That was a huge deal for me.
The Importance of Appreciating your self-worth
Crossing the finish line after 42.2kms.
  • I am proud of being a role model to my children and grandchildren.  Teaching them to live healthy and active lives and to be kind and generous to others.
  • I’m proud of my blog – no it isn’t the next big thing – but it is my voice and a reflection of the person that I am. I’m helping and encouraging other women to embrace life and rediscover themselves.

It all comes down to you and how you feel about yourself

Why not try this exercise:  Write down 10 things that you like about yourself.  It might not be easy but include things you are good at or goals you have achieved. Try to see what others see in you. You might surprise yourself and you will definitely feel so much better about yourself.

Recently I left this comment on my friend, Leanne from Cresting the Hill’s post Stop Apologizing and Being Small

It is sad that we feel we wasted so much of our life feeling this way but we can certainly make up for it. Another problem, is that we see ourselves so differently to the way others see us.

As you said, your husband fell in love with the beautiful, independent woman you were and you probably didn’t see those qualities in yourself. Here’s to standing up and being proud in the spotlight of Midlife, rather than apologizing and hiding the the background.

I’m finishing with the question I started with:

Self-worth – how would you rate yours? 

What can you do to increase your self-worth today?  Will you try the exercise I suggested?

The Importance of Appreciating your self-worth

Let’s Keep Sizzling!

 

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86 Comments

  • Reply Janet Mary Cobb August 12, 2018 at 21:36

    Sue – thanks for another great post! Having been abandoned by my father as a young child, I certainly struggled with self-worth. But with years of practice in healing memories and learning how to find my voice – I began to recognize my value and make changes in my life. I was fortunate that this happened in my 30s because it helped me in raising my children to understand their own self-worth. Much of my blogging and my intent on writing is to encourage every individual – but women specifically – to embrace this and to find their voice.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 07:23

      Hi Janet, I’m sorry to hear about your father, but it shows that we can overcome the bad things that happen in our lives. Like you, I love to encourage women and although, I’m not perfect and I have days when I’m not feeling great, I can overcome and use that experience to help others. Have a beautiful week, Janet and thanks for stopping by xx

  • Reply Mackenzie Glanville August 12, 2018 at 22:34

    Questioning my self worth has been something I have been thinking a lot about lately, with my anxiety at an unhealthy level at the moment I have had a lot of negative thoughts in my head. Feeling like I am letting down my husband and children, feeling like I am not being good enough at anything. I think for me self worth goes up and down, and I am working hard on bringing it back up. This is such a great post to remind us to stop and remember how amazing we are. For me lately I have felt the intense need to be honest not only with myself but with those who read my blog and it has made me feel better about the battle I am in at the moment. Thanks Sue xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 07:25

      Oh Mackenzie, I feel exactly the same as you and sometimes it is so hard isn’t it? I’m sending you a huge hug and just know I’m here if you need a chat via PM. It is so lovely to hear from you but I do hope you have a beautiful day and don’t be too hard on yourself. xx

  • Reply Donna August 13, 2018 at 00:15

    Well-done on completing your second marathon, Sue. That is a remarkable achievement!
    I love that you listed ‘being a role model to your grandchildren’ as one of your top accomplishments. We often don’t congratulate each other on important things like this — yet the value of this is exceptional. A sincere, heartfelt congratulations!
    Finally, you know that I am a huge fan of Sizzling Toward 60 & Beyond. The wisdom, thought and hard work that you put into your blog is an incredibly generous gift to others. Thank you so much for doing this!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 07:28

      Hi Donna, the marathon took longer than I expected but I did finish it! Yes my greatest legacy I believe is living a healthy and active life as an example for my children and grandchildren. They love that their Mum and Nan, can run and be active but also I think I’m a role model by showing them how to care for and be generous to others. Thank you so much for your lovely words about the blog – always timely and greatly appreciated. Have a beautiful week, my friend xx

  • Reply suzanne vosbikian August 13, 2018 at 07:12

    Sue, I was 26 years old when a Boss told me that I was talented and smart. That was a first! Until then, I falsely assumed that I was average at best. Unfortunately, I “needed” that validation because I was unable to determine my own worth. It was a defining moment in my life that I will always appreciate. I made a point to tell my daughter, in very specific terms, how special she is and I know it has helped her to develop a strong sense of self-worth and an abundance of confidence. You selflessly do that for women through your Blog every day. Thank you!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 07:47

      It took me until I was 50 to realise my self-worth, Suzanne. Like you I made sure my children realised they were valued and special as I am doing with my grandchildren. Thank you for your last sentence, it means the world to me to know that others appreciate my thirst to encourage others. Have a beautiful week and you will be happy to know I’ve decided to pull out my camera and try to learn how to use it properly before our upcoming trip to Japan in October. xx

  • Reply Michele August 13, 2018 at 07:45

    Hi Sue, I spent many years suffering from low self worth. I find that it is now easier for me to see the good traits and the worth that I have. I agree that comparison is the death of self-esteem because there will always be somebody more something that we are. One of the benefits of age is having the wisdom to stop comparing and enjoy the value that I bring into the world.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 12:54

      So many of us did suffer from low self worth, Michele but I do believe we have learned from that and brought our children up to believe in themselves. I love the women of our generation because we have made the difficult changes and are now passing them on to our children and grandchildren. Have a beautiful week, Michele. xx

  • Reply Natalie August 13, 2018 at 08:30

    My sincere congratulations, Sue, on ( 1) Completing your second marathon! That is a huge achievement. (2) Your role model to your children and grandchildren is a lasting and impactful legacy not just in your family but our society as a whole, and (3) Your dedication to your blog and generous sharing your wisdom and encouragement to others. You’re also building a great blogging community so Well done, my friend! I hope you celebrate your successes with pride and joy.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 13:13

      Thank you Natalie for all your good wishes. Being a role model and leaving this legacy is so important to me. I was very happy to cross the finish line with the marathon – it was much harder than I remember but at least I can now have two to my name. I love the blogging community and the wonderful connections I have made, including you. Have a beautiful day, Natalie xx

  • Reply Jo Tracey August 13, 2018 at 09:54

    Congratulations on finishing your 2nd marathon – what an achievement for you and the Saturday sisters! I have this theory that you can never be truly content within yourself while ever you’re comparing yourself to someone else. There will always be someone with “more”…or perceived to have “more” or be “more”.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 13:28

      Thanks Jo! One of my Saturday Sisters wanted to try for a marathon so I suggested I would be her motivator and coach. After training for 3 months I thought I might just give it a go myself rather than let all that training go to waste! I never thought I had one, let alone two marathons in me but I’ve proven to myself I can do anything I put my mind to. Have a great week! 🙂

  • Reply DeeDee August 13, 2018 at 10:22

    I love this! I think we all have to get to that point in our lives when we start to believe in ourselves. For women, especially, it takes years (often decades) and too often only after some big set back, before we start to depend on our inner strength. I would love to reblog this! Any chance you might consider adding a “reblog” button 😊

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 12:56

      Hi DeeDee I’m not sure how to add a ‘reblog’ button but will give it a try. I would be honoured for you to reblog 🙂

  • Reply Vanessa August 13, 2018 at 11:21

    Some good thoughts here. I will mull on this 🙂 It’s interesting being that I’m looking for a more challenging job now, so I am being put out there in the direct competition of others.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 13, 2018 at 13:31

      Good luck with the job hunting Vanessa. Just believe in yourself and I’m sure you will find exactly what you are looking for. It is all about the attitude 🙂 Have a great week! xx

  • Reply Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid August 13, 2018 at 21:37

    Congratulations on running your second marathon – I wouldn’t even be able to run one! You’re so inspiring! I think that self worth is appreciating and celebrating what makes us you-nique, comparing ourselves to others never ends well!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:20

      Thanks Sammie! I’m pretty happy with my achievement as I never thought I would run a second one! Thank you for your lovely comment and I agree that we need to appreciate and celebrate our ‘you-niqueness’ (love the way you wrote that) rather than stressing out about trying to be someone we aren’t. Have a beautiful week and thanks for stopping by to comment. xx

  • Reply Ness August 13, 2018 at 23:17

    I do struggle with self-worth unfortunately. It’s because I’m autistic, shy and introverted so have always felt different than others. I do know that I have worth, but I have to keep reminding myself.

    Congrats on the marathon. That’s amazing. And your blog is as well. You should definitely be proud.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:21

      Thank you Ness for your lovely words of encouragement and we all have to remind ourselves of our self-worth – you aren’t alone there. Have a beautiful week and enjoy. xx

  • Reply Candi Randolph August 13, 2018 at 23:21

    My computer froze up when I commented earlier so I’ll apologize if this is a repeat!
    Very thought provoking post that I’ve shared with my Facebook followers. I’m getting better at not comparing myself to others as I get older, and realize that I am unique in all the world. That should be enough 🙂 Thanks for your inspiring thoughts!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:23

      Thank you for your sharing on Facebook, your lovely comment, Candi and also for perservering when your computer froze. We are enough aren’t we? It is just a matter of believing in ourselves. Have a beautiful week and don’t forget to join us for #MLSTL. xx

  • Reply Sydney Shop Girl August 14, 2018 at 06:26

    Well done on the the marathon, Sue! I’m so inspired by this and also your thoughts on self-worth. It’s an issue that I do reflect upon and yes, I’m guilty of comparing constantly and not appreciating uniqueness and different paths travelled.

    SSG xxx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:24

      We both did well with our running goals, didn’t we SSG and we have the medals to prove it! Have a beautiful week and thanks for stopping by to leave me a comment xx

  • Reply Leslie Clingan August 14, 2018 at 11:56

    For my morning pages tomorrow, I will try your exercise. I do like myself more now than probably any other time in my life. When I look back, there were so many years I longed to be loved and cherished. I think now days, I am more content with being in a happy relationship. PC loves me but it isn’t exactly Hollywood material.

    I don’t think I compare my accomplishments to those of others too much because we are all different. I couldn’t run a marathon for all the tea in China but I can run a 5K, and that’s my marathon! So proud of your accomplishments and the wonderful role model you are to your family and everyone who knows you.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:27

      I’d love to read your list if you would share it with me, Leslie. I’m so happy you feel contented and loved. No, we don’t have Hollywood love stories but they aren’t real are they? Have a beautiful week, my adopted cousin xx

  • Reply Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski August 14, 2018 at 15:52

    That’s so amazing that you were able to do the marathon. You look great in the photo. It’s so easy to want to compare yourself to others but it’s true, we’re all unique. When we help and support each other we can all thrive.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:28

      Thank you Rebecca. It was pretty tough but felt great when I came over the finish line that is why I am smiling! Have a great week, Rebecca x

  • Reply Pat August 15, 2018 at 00:59

    Sue, the question that got me was (slightly rephrased)…. “Do you feel like you need to be accomplishing something ‘big’ to be worthy?” and my answer unfortunately still is yes. Mind-opening.

    Congrats on 1) your second marathon! I’ve never been a runner but I’ve heard about the physical and mental the challenge a marathon is (many friends who run). 2) being an awesome role model – to many of us 3) your blog! You continue to share thought-provoking insights. I am going to try that 10 things exercise tomorrow. And read the Imperfection book Leanne talked about this week (are you 2 mind-linked that well to have similar topics!?)
    Have a great week.

    • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au August 15, 2018 at 12:03

      Sue and I think we may have been separated at birth Pat – definitely sisters of the soul – and on similar paths (as you seem to be too) xx

      • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:38

        I wrote something similar Leanne 🙂 We are definitely sisters from another life!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:35

      Hi Pat, yes I feel like you do deep down, although I’m getting better and not stressing over it. My big win for the year was running the marathon which I never thought I would run again. I’m pleased to hear you are trying the exercise of writing 10 things and would be keen to see what you come up with. I’m sure Leanne and I have been sisters in another life as we always seem to be on the same wavelength. We don’t tell each other what we have scheduled to write about, yet so many times we have written about similar topics at the same time. Have a beautiful week, Pat and thanks for stopping by xx

  • Reply samfiftysomething August 15, 2018 at 07:04

    Another fabulous post Sue. So thought provoking. I think I also struggled with self worth, until my over fifties when I ‘stepped out’ & started living for myself again. There are so many different reasons why ‘self worth’ gets put to one side & doubt, along with self criticism becomes normal, but the important thing is that we all find it again & builds on it 😊 no time to dwell either, too much fun to be had 🌸

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 17:02

      You certainly are enjoying life Sam and inspiring us to step out of the norm and make the most of each day. I always look forward to reading about your adventures. Have a great week 🙂

  • Reply Jo August 15, 2018 at 07:14

    Well done Sue, you are amazing. Well done on your marathon run. I don’t underestimate how hard it it to not only train in a physical sense but also mentally.

    I’m in England at the moment and it’s been a week since I’ve done any exercise at all. I have to take time back for myself and prioritise my own needs, but it’s hard when you have only short sharp bursts to be with family who are becoming needy.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 17:01

      Thank you Jo for your words of congratulations. I hope you are enjoying your visit to family in England and it is difficult not to let our own needs go by the wayside when visiting. Just enjoy and then you can come home knowing you brought joy to your family. Take care and safe travels. xx

  • Reply Leah August 15, 2018 at 07:15

    Our own self-talk is so important. It can make or break us. What would the world look like if we all understood the value of ourselves ad others? I hold dear to the belief that all life has intrinsic value and worth. It is part of the reason I began blogging. Too often the world teaches that some are better than others or that some lives have less value.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:59

      Hi Leah it has been lovely to connect with you and I’m so pleased you joined us at #MLSTL this week. You are right that self-talk can make or break us. I read a book early this year, Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini. She talked about the mean girl voice in our head that can make our life miserable and ways we can tame her. Have a great week and thanks for stopping by.

  • Reply Jennifer Jones August 15, 2018 at 08:36

    I’ve struggled with this all my life Sue but feel that I’ve now conquered those demons. I’m definitely going to do the exercise. I feel it would be a great thing to do periodically to reinforce self worth. #MSTL Shared on SM

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:57

      I agree that the exercise is worthwhile and also doing it periodically is a great idea. I’m glad to hear you have conquered the demons. Sometimes I think I have and yet at other times I’m not so sure. Have a great week and thanks for supporting #MLSTL xx

  • Reply Christie Hawkes August 15, 2018 at 09:37

    It is a different world, isn’t it? As you said, we were raised not to be boastful. Today many children are rewarded for little or no effort. I think there is a happy medium. Have you read Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset? She talks about praising effort, as opposed to inherent talents or intelligence or appearance. As you stated from the beginning, of course, doling out praise is not the same as offering love. We all have inherent self-worth and are worthy of love.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:55

      Hi Christie, thanks for the information on Growth Mindset. I haven’t read it but will check it out. Love is so important in teaching our children self-worth and also realising that loving ourselves and accepting who we are should be our priority. Have a beautiful week,Christie xx

  • Reply Agnes August 15, 2018 at 10:35

    Such a great article, Sue. I know I struggled through my youth and early adult years. As the years went by though, I found myself in situations where I excelled, situations that I was sure, a few years before, I’d fail at. This made me braver.
    Nowadays, I know there are areas I still shy away from but I am proud of the family I helped create, I am proud of my accomplishments these last few years, and I’ve gained more of a sense of myself without worrying about what others think.
    In turn, I do try to find value in every person, understanding that everyone has a story and that sometimes that story overwhelms them.
    Congratulations of the marathons – they are major achievements!

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:49

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed the article, Agnes. Being proud of the family we have created is our legacy isn’t it? I think you make a good point about realising that everyone has their own story which can overwhelm them at times. Understanding is really the key isn’t it? Understanding and accepting ourselves and also others for what we are. Have a beautiful week and thanks for the congratulations, I felt great when I crossed the finish line, knowing I had achieved my goal. xx

  • Reply Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au August 15, 2018 at 12:00

    This is such a big one for most of us Sue – and you said some very valuable things in this post – because when it comes down to the bottom line, it’s up to us to choose to value ourselves. Others often see it before we do and we can be our own worst critics. I wrote about perfectionism this week and my struggle with it in relationships – my Mum left a lovely comment to say that she sees me as perfect, maybe it’s time we saw ourselves for how wonderful we are (that was even hard to type! Still have a way to go obviously!)
    Thanks for the link to my post – and your comment was very pertinant to the discussion the post engendered. I really loved today’s post – you are such a role model for all of us (not just your family!) xx
    PS: Here’s to another great #MLSTL collaboration 🙂 xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:39

      Leanne, you are such a wonderful friend and I value our friendship greatly. Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement and they couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m so pleased I’ve met you 🙂

  • Reply Victoria August 15, 2018 at 12:17

    How I value myself has ebbed and flowed through my life. I knew my worth more so at some times than others. I am just not a quitter and never expect to fail though I am sure it has happened a few times. lol

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:38

      That happens doesn’t it Victoria. Sometimes we appreciate who we are and what we have to offer and yet at other times we feel vulnerable. I know you aren’t a quitter and admire you for your strength in facing challenges. 🙂

  • Reply Denyse Whelan August 15, 2018 at 14:42

    A great topic and your points and thoughts raised make a great deal of sense. I am sure many women know exactly what you mean (and without being sexist, few men would). There is and has been differences within the sexes for eons.
    That said, I continue to change and evolve every day. I know that I have a life-changing event recently but life does continue to throw me challenges and I need to decide and how to respond…so trying to take the extra seconds before react..if you know what I mean.
    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week’s optional prompt is My Hairstyle History. Denyse

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 15, 2018 at 16:37

      Hi Denyse, you continue to inspire me with your strength and wisdom. I know exactly what you mean by ‘taking extra seconds before reacting’. I need to do this more. Have a beautiful week and take care. xx

  • Reply Debbie August 15, 2018 at 17:48

    I think you’re amazing Sue, your efforts in your marathon, your blog, and sharing your wisdom with us is much appreciated. Self worth is an important topic for us midwifery and you’ve done a great job. I’ve shared widely for #mlstl

  • Reply Ellen Best August 15, 2018 at 20:57

    A well-written post that will give those low in self-esteem all the encouragement they need.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 07:09

      Thank you Ellen and I appreciate your comment. I hope my post has helped other women who might not feel as good about themselves as they should Thanks for stopping by and have a beautiful day. x

  • Reply Jennifer August 16, 2018 at 09:47

    It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I really began to value my self-worth. My ex-husband was the kind of person who only felt good about himself if he could put down others, which had a real impact on me and my self-worth at the time. Even when he left, it was only a game on his part to try to make me feel bad about myself and beg him to come home. It backfired because even just a few days without him was so liberating and freeing to my soul and my self-worth that when he called to find out if I wanted him back, I told him to get lost. Sure, I have my days where I question myself, but I will never let another person dictate my self-worth to me again.

    • Reply Janet Mary Cobb August 16, 2018 at 09:49

      AMEN Jennifer! That’s what happened when I left the convent!

      • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 07:03

        Hi Janet, it must have been a difficult decision to make, however, I’m sure you feel now that is was the right decision for you. xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 07:05

      I never knew you were in that position, Jennifer and I know that many women feel that. My ex-husband was quite controlling and as he was 12 years older than I it was easy for him as I just followed along. He was never one to make me feel bad, per se, but looking back I would have made different decisions if I had, had the courage to say ‘no, this is what I think’. We learn from life, don’t we and I know you are happy now which is the main thing. Enjoy your weekend and thank you for sharing your personal story. xx

  • Reply Molly August 16, 2018 at 10:22

    I will pin this for future reference, Sue… as I know I should re-read once-a-week (at least)!

    I know I need to release comparison – for good! It causes so much harm and never any good. But oh… that is one tough habit to break.

    I was told growing up that self-worth … self-respect … self-assurance…. were all forms of pride for it puts emphasis on self and not on God. How erroneous that is! I am just now learning that self-care – self-confidence and self-love are all necessary to become the best me I can be.

    I am grateful for this #MLSTL community you have established here. I am learning so many valuable lessons to carry with me into the future.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 07:02

      Hi Molly, I should do the same as although I can write about it, I sometimes forget to take my own advise. It is hard not to compare ourselves especially when we see posts on social media of people and their ‘perfect life’. We forget that of course they will only post good things and I’m sure both you and I have many good things in life as well as being thoughtful and caring people. You have made my day with your last comment. I love the #MLSTL community and I am constantly learning from all you. It is wonderful that we all share our thoughts and ideas. Have a beautiful weekend. xx

  • Reply Kathy Marris August 16, 2018 at 16:28

    This is a wonderful post Sue. I have agonised for years about feeling like a worthy person because I have led a charmed life. I always compared myself to others and never felt up to scratch. However since getting older I no longer feel this way and I’m so much more happier within myself and accepting of who I am. I think I can easily write 10 good things about myself (and that’s not bragging!) #TeamLovinLife

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 06:58

      Good for you Kathy! You have had a beautiful transformation over the last year with your physical health and wellness. That also helps our self-esteem, I believe. We feel good when we know we look good. Have a beautiful weekend xx

  • Reply Pradeep August 16, 2018 at 16:53

    Hi Sue,
    What an inspiring post!
    I have also felt often that I am not good enough … as others.
    Once I removed the latter part of that sentence (as others), the problem is much less, and easier to tackle.
    You are very right, we must never compared ourselves with others. Draw inspiration, but don’t compare, because each of us is different and unique in our own way.
    – Pradeep | bpradeepnair.blogspot.com
    (#MLSTL Visitor. I have shared the post)

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 06:57

      Hi Pradeep, I like your point about drawing inspiration rather than comparing. What a positive way to look at others and their achievements. Have a beautiful day xx

  • Reply Suzanne [Globalhousesitterx2] August 17, 2018 at 03:59

    Self-worth is so important throughout our lives, though more so as we age. With our roles changing regularly and then exiting out of the mainstream it becomes something that we all need to work on. Being your own “best friend” goes a long way to having great self-esteem.
    Good on you Sue, and perhaps one day we shall be back in Brisbane, and look forward to a long walk with you 🙂

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 17, 2018 at 06:54

      I love your point about being your own ‘best friend’, Suzanne. We treat our friends and family so much better than ourselves at times, so this is a good point to remember. It’s a date for a long walk next time you are in Brisbane 🙂

  • Reply Deborah August 17, 2018 at 09:22

    I really love this Sue as self-worth is something I struggle with. A lot. Occasionally I feel okay about myself or my achievements but then I compare them / my life to others and feel as if I suffer in comparison. Naturally I only compare it with people who have more, not less, so OF COURSE I don’t come out on top!

    And the comment about the woman marrying into the wealthy family is interesting as my mother and I had a similar conversation about how my brother and I felt about our (very working class) upbringing, when we first went to University and lived at a college with people who’d been to private schools, parents were professionals etc…

    (I mentioned that it wasn’t something I was THAT conscious of cos I felt people accepted us for who we were!) #teamlovinlife

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 18, 2018 at 05:54

      Hi Deb, I came from a similar background and managed to go to a High School that was full of girls who had parents who were judges, doctors etc. I felt I was accepted by others but of course, not accepted by myself. I always suffered self-esteem issues and that is a life long habit that is sometimes difficult to break. xx

  • Reply EsmeSalon August 17, 2018 at 13:22

    WOW this is absolutely awesome, well done and thank you for sharing your story at Senior Salon

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 18, 2018 at 05:50

      Thank you Esme, I’m glad I found you and hope to link up and connect regularly. Have a lovely weekend xx

  • Reply Shirley Corder August 17, 2018 at 19:52

    Sue, such an inspiring post, and so true. I constantly question my ability as a writer, despite the encouragement I am given by others. I love your idea of listing the things you’re proud of!

    • Reply Shirley Corder August 17, 2018 at 19:54

      Meant to add – I can’t get over your SEVENTY COMMENTS! WOW!!!! Girl, you’re rocking.

      • Reply Sue Loncaric August 18, 2018 at 05:40

        Hi Shirley, the number of comments was pretty amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever had anywhere near that number before. The post must have resonated. Have a beautiful weekend and lovely to connect again. xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 18, 2018 at 05:42

      I’m sure we all question our ability, Shirley or most of us do. Writing the list is harder than it seems but it does make you study who you are. Well done on the book launch! xx

  • Reply Suzy August 18, 2018 at 14:43

    So much wisdom in your post. I love the quote by Rob Liano and it’s something I tell my children all the time. So true that we are always comparing ourseleves to others and failing to understand that we are all unique individuals on our own unique journey. There is a lot of truth in the saying comparison is the thief of joy.

    stopping via the LovinLife linkup

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 19, 2018 at 11:51

      Thank you Suzy and so pleased you stopped by to leave me a comment. I like your last sentence about ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. This is so true isn’t it? Have a beautiful weekend and I’m popping over to visit your blog. xx

  • Reply Crystal And Daisy Mae August 20, 2018 at 07:08

    Followed you on G+ and WordPress. Interesting post

  • Reply Miriam August 20, 2018 at 13:38

    Loved your post Sue. Congratulations on completing your second marathon, you should be so proud. I think that often our self worth gets battered over the years and often we’re our own worst enemy and harshest critic. I’m learning ever so slowly as I’m getting older that we all have something special and unique to offer the world. I’ve just completed the exercise you wrote about, amazing how powerful the written word is. Thanks again for an inspired post. xx

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 20, 2018 at 17:58

      Hi Miriam, I was pretty proud of myself even though it took longer than I expected. I’m so pleased that you felt inspired to try the exercise. When I read that I’ve inspired someone, it makes my day! xx

  • Reply Billy Mitchell August 21, 2018 at 01:06

    I am a stranger in a strange land … a lone man among a thrive of articulate ladies.
    Many responders, in their comments, revealed that it had taken them “until … in my forties” – or later — to introspectively resolve feelings of inadequacy. Golly, I’m past 80 and still working on it!

  • Reply Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit August 22, 2018 at 05:52

    I’m a cheerleader – for everyone. I do my best to be a cheerleader for myself as well. It’s a little harder at times (easy to see other people’s strengths, hard to see your own).

    • Reply Sue Loncaric August 22, 2018 at 05:59

      Hi Leanne, we all need to be cheerleaders to encourage others but yes, we also need to be our own cheerleader which is hard to do. Have a beautiful week. xx

  • Reply Joanne Sisco September 18, 2018 at 20:56

    Great photo of you at the finish line! … and congratulations on marathon#2. This is not a minor achievement!! My marathon years are long behind me and this year I was thrilled to just do a 5k.

    As women, why are we so quickly to hide our proverbial light under a bushel? I found your exercise to find 10 things we like about ourselves extremely difficult to do. It became one of those AHA moments – and not in a good way.

    I agree with the comment that we all need to be cheerleaders for one another … and not be embarrassed by the praise we receive, or otherwise feel unworthy.

    • Reply Sue Loncaric September 19, 2018 at 08:09

      We must have something inbuilt in our subconscious Joanne that stops us from sharing the joy of our achievements. When I do, everyone is so lovely and supportive. Many readers had problems writing 10 things they liked about themselves which is sad. Even my daughter commented she would have difficulty and yet there are so many things I love about her. Let’s start cheering each other on more and encouraging each other to share our joys. xx

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