Do you have a partner? Many of us do and adore them, however, just because we are a partnership doesn’t mean we have to spend our time together 24/7.
My next guest in my Over 50 & Thriving Series, is the delightful Christine from Booming On who shares her thoughts on Thriving and a successful relationship by ensuring quality time together but also importantly doing what you enjoy as an individual.
I met Christine through blogging friends and I always enjoy introducing other ‘Aussie’ bloggers. One day we hope to meet in real life, however, are content at the moment to follow each other through our blogging journey.Please be sure to connect with Christine through the links to her website at social media at the end of her post.
Christine here from @BoomingOn. I’m delighted to be doing this guest post for Sue as part of her Thriving series.
Thank you so much Sue for the opportunity and for all the work you do in connecting us 50+ bloggers from around the world. Such a lovely community.
Thriving on my own: Two’s company, and sometimes a crowd
I have a little confession. I’ve been happily married, even deliriously happily married, for more than 30 years. (That’s not the secret.) But as my dearest and I spend more and more time together during the days and evenings in our (reasonably recent) retirements with more time on our hands, I’m finding I’m needing a little space. In fact, I’ve discovered that having some time just for me is allowing me to thrive.
Not that I don’t love spending time with him and doing things together (he’s rather good company), but in order to really discover myself as an individual and pursue my interests, especially now as a non-working person, I’m really relishing a bit of time and space just for me.
So, it is with the utmost of love and respect that I want to say to my most beloved:
I love you dearly, but sometimes, please just leave me alone!
Sometimes you hear women complain that their husbands are golfers and that they spend inordinate amounts of time on the golf course.
Not me! No, I encourage it. Because when he’s on the golf course, that’s my special time, when he’s out for four or five hours at a stretch and I’m completely left to my own devices to do whatever I want – write, read, ‘waste’ as much time as I want on the computer.
Whatever I want with no one to come and ask what I’m doing. Not that I’m doing anything sneaky or untoward. It’s just I don’t want to be disturbed, or actually even tell you about it.
And those days when he’s booked in to golf and I’m planning to do all the things, and then it rains and he stays home instead! Ugh! My special time gone.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m married to perhaps the most wonderful man on earth, and I love spending time with him. But as I’m getting older, I’m really valuing some ‘me’ time, when I’m not beholden to anyone else and I can do things that bring me pleasure, even if others can’t understand why. Like, blogging!
I like to be by myself when I’m on my computer, in my little cyber world, and don’t even like someone else at the desk next to me. I know I shared offices for decades, but now I don’t like sharing that much. Concentration levels are so much higher when I’m by myself. Or maybe I’m just becoming old and curmudgeonly.
Mr T and I have been together since we were teenagers, and while we share a myriad of similar interests, we also enjoy our separate interests. He golfs, I play tennis. He likes James Bond movies, I like tragic dramas. He cooks, I eat.
Most of our holidays and travel are together, but we also do our own trips. He does wine trips with the boys, I go to Thailand with the girls for massages and cocktails. I’m even having a couple of weeks in Zimbabwe next year without him. He will of course worry the whole time that I’m in peril or lost (to be honest, I have no sense or direction so the latter is highly likely, and given that’s it’s Zimbabwe, in fact, the former may also be a possibility), but I’m going to give it a go anyway.
We are a fabulous partnership but we’re also two individuals so I’m delighted we are able to pursue different interests and have different friendships and don’t always have to be tied to the hip. Good for me and good for him. I’m far from an introvert, but this little place I’m discovering now that’s just for me – I have to say, it’s an absolute blast.
What about you? Do love spending some time by yourself?
If you are Over 50 and would like to contribute to the Over 50 & Thriving Series, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I can provide more details.
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