Saying ‘No’ without feeling guilty is not easy, but it is high time I learned how to. As part of The Wisdom Bloggers Sisterhood Facebook page we were given a FREE copy of “Me, Myself & I – 28 Days of Creative Self Love’ by Cheryl Bridges, and encouraged to write our thoughts on what we took away from the messages in the book.
It is a wonderful book which takes you on a journey of self-discovery.
At first I thought it was not for me as it can be interactive as you work through each chapter. However, once you get over yourself and relax there is a wealth of information.
One chapter that resonated with me was Chapter 6 ‘Boundaries’ in particular the ability to say ‘No’
Why do we struggle to say ‘No’?
I have always had a problem with saying ‘No’ to people and I know that it is a common problem especially among women. We have been brought up to be helpful and to put others first, especially our partners and children. How many times did our mother forgo part of a meal so that the child could have it? or Wore the same dress so the children could have the best?
I’ve previously written posts about the need to be learn to love yourself and the fact that we need to be selfish sometimes. Of course this goes against the grain but if we do take the time to nurture ourselves and have some ‘ME’ time, the positive results for ourselves, family and friends is worth the time invested in YOU.
Saying ‘NO’ without feeling guilty is one of the hardest things for me to do, but reading through Chapter 6 I found that I need to for my own self-worth and happiness.
It doesn’t mean that I have to give up my ‘giving nature’ or change my personality. It just means that I can be selective of what I want to agree to. I love helping people but it can become a chore and the liberating feeling when you say ‘I’m sorry I can’t this time’ is like a weight being lifted off you. True friends and family who love you will not be offended and you will stronger and more in control of your life.It is time to learn to say NO without feeling guiltyClick To Tweet
Here are some wonderful mantras that we can use to assist us with becoming more confident in setting boundaries and having the courage to say ‘No’.
As I decide where I end and others begin, I grow more confident in maintaining healthy boundaries.
I am learning new ways to care deeply for others without having to be everything to everybody.
I am free to determine what’s important to me and to ask that others respect that.
I create my own comfort zones, deciding what is best for me. I am clear about my needs and desires and speak them without hesitation to myself and to others as I choose.
I honor and respect the ability of others to act on their own behalf and to learn from their actions. We are all okay. My needs are met more and more as I learn to name them.
I am still working through the book but I would encourage you to get a copy, you will be a better person for it.
Let’s Keep Sizzling!